Help!
by marylwhit
Summary: Reid has to pee, but there's a problem. Request.


**_Request. "Spencer and JJ. Spencer's zipper is stuck."_**

* * *

Reid closed his last manilla folder and set it down on top of his pile. Morgan and Emily were still nose deep in their own paperwork, and he decided to take a well deserved break before he offered to help them. The agent picked up his coffee cup and made his way to the kitchen. He happened to notice the clock on the wall - 3:30 already? - and wondered where the day had gone. Reid hadn't taken a break all day, he had, however, managed to down the four cups of coffee that had mysteriously made their way on to his desk. Gifts from slacking colleagues, no doubt. Still, Reid required coffee to function and therefore a fifth was in order.

With a yawn and a stretch, Reid started the coffee machine. He leaned against the bench and crossed his arms, staring at Morgan flicking paper balls at the back of Emily's head. He suppressed a laugh when she turned, shot him a look and held up her middle finger. That's when all the coffee he had consumed decided to hit his bladder, and Reid made a quick dash for the men's room.

Reid locked himself inside one of the stalls and worked at his zip. He had never been comfortable using urinals, especially not at work where Morgan or Hotch or _anyone _could walk in on him. To his annoyance, the damn thing was stuck. He pulled at it hard, tried pushing up and pulling down, going from the inside of his pants, but it was useless. Reid tried to slide the pants down with the zip still done up, but that wasn't effective either, the pants were old and he had put on weight and they just wouldn't budge. Reid examined the zip again. It was slightly rusty, but he didn't know if that explained why he was trapped. He wondered why everything had been fine until he actually really needed the zip to co-operate with him.

Reid exited the bathroom and all but ran to his desk, searching his drawers for a pair of scissors. He groaned when he realized he's lent them to JJ the previous night, so she could cut open the bag of microwave popcorn before they all gathered around the Playstation in Rossi's office.

_Damnit. _

Reid ran up to JJ's office and politely knocked on the door. He found himself hopping from one foot to the other, and glanced down into the bullpen to find Morgan shooting him a confused look. He straightened himself and entered when JJ called him in.

_Damn._

Reid felt his bladder tug painfully, and he started towards JJ, screaming his need for the scissors and quickly.

"Spence, what -_ I'm in the middle of a phonecall_!" JJ replied. Luckily, she was on hold.

"JJ, help!" Reid screamed, dancing around her office. "Help!"

Being the mother of a four year old, JJ very quickly determined what Reid's problem was.

"My zip's stuck!" Reid managed, and JJ hung up the phone and pulled him over to her desk. He leaned against the structure, and JJ tried to figure out exactly why the zip was failing.

"If you want me to help, you need to move your hands."

"Just use the scissors!" He screeched, freeing up one hand to point at the drawers of her desk. "The..._the popcorn scissors_!"

JJ started to laugh, but immediately forced herself to calm down and work a little more efficiently when she noticed how distressed he was getting. While the whole situation was hilarious, the last thing she wanted was for her friend to _actually _wet himself.

"Reid, it's okay. Just calm down." JJ undid Reid's top button and pulled either sides of fabric as hard as she could. Nothing happened.

"Get the scissors!" Reid moaned again. "Just cut me out!"

JJ sighed and reached for the scissors. She didn't know what Reid was going to wear home, or what he was going to look like running across the bullpen towards the bathrooms, but she doubted that was the least of his worries.

_"JJ!"_

JJ started to cut open Reid's pants, right down the left side of his zipper. The scissors were blunt -meant for paper, not thick denim - but they eventually did the job. Reid immediately bolted for the door, and JJ called out to him and his bright red Spiderman underwear:

"_Thankyou_, JJ."

"Thank you!" Reid mimicked. Then he paused for a moment, and ran back to JJ.

"If you tell anyone about this, I _will _kill you." He whispered.

JJ laughed, "Get out, Spence. If you pee on my floor I'll kill _you_."


End file.
